Birthday at Bike Week

eL. — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:57:31 +0000

I know… I know… you tortured souls have been waiting on pins and needles for the past week to hear about the adventures at Black Bike Week 2009! *wink* I’m sorry that I’ve been a lurker since I got back, but there was the horrid sunburn, the food poisoning, and the release of TrueBlood Season One… I’ve been busy!

I must preface this blog with a disclaimer. Black Bike Week was not titled by this pasty white girl from the hills of Tennessee. It is an actual event. www.blackbikeweek.com for more information. I’ve stumbled upon a few different bike rallies over the years and I have to say… the brothers definitely do Bike Week with more style.

Aunt Meg, the kids and I arrived in South Carolina pretty early on Friday morning. Following the directions of Dad’s trusty “Satellite Sally” we ventured through a small town called Florence. Only in South Carolina does the interstate actually turn into a two lane, broken, pitiful excuse for a highway and run through Nowhereville, USA. In hindsight though I wish I’d bought a postcard; Florence was incredibly entertaining. Because I was driving, Megan was on camera duty.

Before we began this trip, I was assured by the company, through which I booked the condo, that we were staying so far south that we would miss most of the bikers. This is the sign from our resort.

The first two floors of the parking garage looked like this:

Our room was nice, tucked in the corner of the resort on the side of the building. Our balcony, where we perched and observed each night, had a view of the beach and of Ocean Blvd below. During the day, the resort was quiet and non-eventful. The only signs of Bike Week were the sleeping crotch-rockets underground and the 550 uniformed police officers that were EVERYWHERE. Each day we enjoyed the beach and the pools without incident and at dusk we would head to our room, tuck the kids in bed and wait for the show to begin. Spotlighting for the production was brought courtesy of the search helicopters flying above. The music was provided by screaming Japanese engines and countless subwoofers thumping out a plethora of different beats.

More fascinating than the bikes were the cars. We actually saw a white Bentley Continental Convertible jacked up on ORANGE wheels. Let me rephrase. We saw a white $200,000 convertible with bright Tony-the-Tiger-ORANGE wheels sitting about three feet too high off the ground. I nearly wrecked my XTerra. I soooo wish I’d gotten a picture.

Our favorites though, were the Logo Cars. I’m sure they have a real name and if you know it, please tell me. I’m INTRIGUED. It started with the Skittles Car and then we started making a list: Skittles, Reese’s Pieces, Winterfresh, Diet Coke, Toys R Us, Pringles, Batman, UPS and Heineken. I seriously doubt these cars were corporately sponsored so I hate to think of the lawsuit ramifications if they were to ever be involved in a serious accident, but I have to give it to them… they had our attention!

Sadly, there were no thongs to report. Not even one. Well, maybe one, but we couldn’t get a close enough look to be certain. My cousin who lives there said the city actually passed a law against them. Sorry guys! No booty pics!

We did see three hookers, (one definite – we watched her being arrested) and the other two… well, if they weren’t hookers they really shouldn’t have been flying their “hooker flag”. One of them though, I will say, if I had her legs I’d be selling them too. I’d be wearing a bag over my head also, but that’s beside the point.

All in all our weekend was pretty tame. My biggest complaint would be the wafts of marijuana smoke seeping through the adjoining doorway to our neighbor’s room and the party they decided to throw our last night there. Other than that and the horrible traffic, it was a pretty good and very interesting vacation.

Still… I think we’ll go to Florida next Memorial Day.

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Birthday at Bike Week